308

Ink accumulating:
Quibbling,
Over that which illuminates.

Unfortunately, discussion of these experiences gets us caught up in another current witch hunt, namely the "drug problem." Some readers will likely dismiss this entire work at the first hint that drugs have been involved. Any "artificially" induced state will often be automatically perceived as false by even those who have experienced altered states of consciousness through drugs. Most of this discussion is about states which have occurred through behaviors and the conscious manipulation of the mind. The mind is consciously altered for allowing the ego to take on a more passive role so that the unconscious mind can be brought closer to the surface and, through the mixture of conscious and unconscious, useful metaphors arise.

309

Seeing little, not making use;
Through my support afar off.

Certainly there are many conservatives who have never had a psychedelic drug experience who, through their own fear, do not even wish to accept the possibility of anything positive coming from illegal drugs. However, there are many people who are former addicts who have joined the fight against drugs. I have known many who have experienced many negative consequences for their lives through drugs. Any explanation for these negative consequences would be an oversimplification; however, I will propose one explanation that may be correct for many causes: the drugs were used without the respect that one would have for the states that are brought on by the drugs. When these drugs are used for recreation they rapidly become as addictive as the recreation itself. We are so often obsessed with being passively entertained. The drugs can provide a very powerful entertainment, or diversion, from what is usually considered important. Drugs, then, merely provide the means for escape rather than the means for transformation. I do not believe that a meaningful transformation can occur three times a day, or as many times as an addict will use the drug. Personally, I do not believe that it is healthy to depend on a drug to arrive at an altered state for every performance. However, the drug can be useful to temporarily help one to release the control of the ego so that other types of experience can occur.

310

Seeing little, not making use;
Waiting for my greatness.

I have noticed from listening to recordings that there was little difference in my playing from when I had smoked marijuana to when I had not. There was a little sluggishness in technique that would sometimes happen after smoking which would be remedied by drinking several cups of coffee. The main difference was that the music seemed to be more enjoyable and meaningful to me when I was under the influence. I found that I could train myself to find that meaning and the consequent pleasure without the use of the drug. I could find this experience without losing the proper functioning of the ego. "I" acquired an awareness of many realities at once.

311

Abundance in retreat, moreover superabundance.
The silkworm cocoons are in the fields.

Marijuana is illegal and, therefore, I take a certain risk in my honesty. I am not dependent on drugs and I believe that their usefulness (even for exploring other realities) ends when a dependency develops. I am glad that I have experienced mind-altering drugs and I am equally glad that I presently have so little use for them.

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