130-131

Green trees bind streams;
Their beauty may, by perceiving,
Be like the plumping of a gourd.

Perhaps my "pride" (or self-esteem) comes from the possibility that my servicing others who serve others is improving me in some way; that I am getting better and better at what I do as well as getting more and more pleasure from it. Actually, I am not talking about quantity but quality. The quality of my experience changes and deepens. However, often an increase of pleasure on one level is the cause of deep pain on another.

The Muse is not concerned with balance. She is killing me.

132

Green trees bind streams,
Inner judgments and consideration.

I must thank the Mockingbird and the Dog for keeping me alive. Remember, Martin Buber said that without the "I - It" we cannot live, but without the "I - Thou" we cannot be human. The Dog and Mockingbird are concerned with balance, my health and the health of others. They know "It" and how to use "It" to the greatest benefit of all. The Lizard/Muse would not care if I were to lose my family and become a drug addict. At least I would then be devoted to her alone.

133

Little advantage, great deceiving.

From a more "realistic" or even behaviorist perspective, the Muse/Lizard reinforces behaviors which may have little use for the individual or society. However, Hillman suggests that even schizophrenia may cause an individual to become a deeper "soul." There must be a balance: without the Muse I have few experiences worth sharing with others; with no Lion the experience may have little lasting meaning; without the Dog, the meaning is of no help to anyone; and without the Mockingbird, I would not have the means to communicate my good intentions to anyone.

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